Sunday, May 28, 2017

Damn this creative block!!

So, I searched for an article today that would make me feel better about myself. I have been a creative "dabbler" for months, but haven't put any serious effort in to creating something real, tangible or meaningful.

This is not like me! I've become really really good at drinking wine, though, and after months of learning how to drink lots of expensive wine with wild abandon, and believing that that constitutes a great amount of creativity (i.e. tonight I went off of Whole30 and drank not only two glasses of wine (gasp!) but also a dirty martini! Yay!.....mmm...... (uh, yeah and here I am writing a post that I might regret later........because those sentences make me sound like a compulsive drinker....... which I am not.)

So. Here I am. Sorry to sound like a whiner, but I have a sucky job. In a cubicle. With greyish brown cubicle walls. In a room windowless with 31 other like people. (Like, as in equally agreeable in that our jobs suck). Those of you that know me, know that that environment sucks not only my will to live, but also any creative impulse right out of me. My job is the only sucky thing in my life. I have a wonderful family - smart siblings (my sister, who is sitting 2 feet to my left and insists I say this, is the smartest and best of all, and her husband cooks a mean salmon), funny and crotchety elderly mother, loving and caring husband, sweet, dear, incredibly intelligent daughter, a roomful of funny, intelligent and wonderful coworkers, and a network of spectacular women friends. I am truly blessed. 

My problem is, that for months, I have had the worst creative block! I started a maxi skirt, but my attempt at making it longer failed ( I am NOT indulging in negative self talk, it's just a fact), and I threw it in to my sewing cart, and have struggled to ignore the call to complete that it has harkened since. I created a "going away" book for a work friend, and I created that icky "shabby chic" garland I posted a few months ago, but besides that I haven't really engaged my heart and soul in to something that incites a fire. That prompts an emotional response. That requires a dive in to the emotional pool of love, gratitude, love or regret that emits the best art.

So, here's the deal. We're moving. From Portland. Yes, I know. Portland has been where everyone moves TO for a few years, not FROM. And, guess where we're moving??? Coeur D'Alene! I know, right? And, no, you meanies out there, it is not full of white supremacists any more. In fact, the damn Californians are now moving hundreds of miles east of Portland! My hope is that once I get through the hell of job searching, the heck of home hunting (it's so fun, but so stressful!........ I've never sold a house!), and the mess that goes with all of that (maybe I'll have the guts to write about transitioning a 13 year old girl to a new state at another time), I will settle in to a wonderful new creative space and create the bejeezus out of something great. I also firmly believe that the beauty of Idaho is going to ignite a physical reaction in me that is going to prompt me to buy a super cool and super expensive road bike. That way my creative juices will get pumping along with the blood and sweat and I'll since down and experience creative genius!!

For now, I leaving you with the article I found. I'm going to take the advice. Starting with sleep. I've been forcing myself to stay in bed when I awake at 4am lately, and it's been working so well that I've been arriving late to work. And oh my god.... exercise! Despite my bad knees, I need to do major squats to rid myself of the "mom butt" I've adapted since losing all of my weight and entering the wonderful world of menopause.

I'm signing off because the said smartest and best of all sister from above is beckoning me to her hot tub. (I bought one of those skirt bathing suits at Kohl's today especially for this occaision).

Here's a creative prompt: "Good artists copy, great artists steal.  - Pablo Picasso"

And the article:

Craft on luv bugs!

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